Clutching the short straw

The term glamourbomb (sometimes written as two words, i.e. “glamour bomb”) was coined in the late 1990s. A glamour bomb is a prank or act of mischief aimed at challenging or altering perceptions — in particular, expanding the target’s view of reality.

For centuries the word “glamour” denoted a magic spell cast on somebody to make them believe that something or somebody was attractive, an illusion cast by gypsies and witches. The Oxford English Dictionary cites a 1721 glossary of poetry: “When devils, wizards or jugglers deceive the sight, they are said to cast glamour o’er the eyes of the spectator.”

Today, glamour usually denotes the impression of attraction or fascination that a particularly luxurious or elegant appearance creates, an impression which is better than the reality. Here, too, is an essential quality of glamour: it is an escape, an illusion, an ideal, a dream. Glamour is not quite real.

The people who engage in glamourbombing are quite varied — many are practitioners of various forms of magic or neopaganism, particularly of those traditions with an appreciation for chaos and the Trickster archetype, such as discordians and chaos magicians.

In mythology, and in the study of folklore and religion, a trickster is a god, goddess, spirit, man, woman, or anthropomorphic animal who plays tricks or otherwise disobeys normal rules and conventional behavior. A very sexual archetype, the Trickster figure frequently exhibits gender and form variability, changing gender roles, engaging in same-sex practices and playing havoc with the hyper-rational personality and community.

The Trickster is an example of a Jungian archetype. Its nature recalls its differentiation from the fool: the trickster is not playing. Not just any rogue or anti-hero can properly be termed a trickster. The true trickster’s trickery calls into question fundamental assumptions about the way the world is organized, and reveals the possibility of transforming them.

Unlike the fool, the trickster aims to change the rules of the “real” world; he/she is in fact the perfect vehicle to undermine the “terminal creeds” that rigidify into overdetermination or stereotype.

In Tarot symbolism, the Trickster archetype is represented by the figure of the Magician.

(Text stitched together from wikipedia articles, The New York Times and several other sources which I am unable to recall right now. Paiting by Jack Vettriano.)

In times of confusion, I usually turn to my roots to find solace and advice in that which molded what I am today, in the words and works that made me steer my path and inspired me to take up the disciplines which I felt were appropiate to express that very “I”. One of those roots is, without discussion, Chaos Magick. I’ve always found the writings of Austin Osman Spare, Phil Hine, Ray Sherwin, Robert Anton Wilson, Timothy Leary or Alan Moore tremendously lucid, providing a very useful insight on the reasons why we do things more than on the things themselves that we do. And that very method of approaching the subject is its own answer: the important thing is not what you do, but how you do it. A simple truth. More of a blueprint for action than a set of rules and regulations. In pure Chaos Magick, all the “do”s are there and it’s up to you to fill the “don’t”s.

Some days ago, flipping back through Ray Sherwin’s “The Theatre of Magick”, I found this (emphasis is mine):

“The magician believes nothing in the sense of having faith, he experiments practically to ascertain if there is any truth or value in the postulates he has made himself or which he has borrowed from elsewhere. It is true that he holds certain organic beliefs for the sake of convenience. For example, he believes that the chair in which he is sitting or in which he is about to sit in is real – most of the time. This however is not a mental process but an instinctive or organic one without which life would be impossible.

The traditional Theatre of the magician is as good a starting model as any. It is unlikely, absurd, and perfectly equipped. The magician has a special room with particular decor and stylized instruments. In the non-magician this room inspires fear, awe or hilarity. In the magician it inspires a mood and it inspires change.“

This is, quite simply and better put than I ever could have done it, the reason why I can’t work in photography since about a year ago. I’ve always required a secluded environment in order to function correctly: a fixed, controllable, customizable and intimate space for shooting (some would call it a “studio”), a printing room, whatever. My magick doesn’t work outside such a space. I can get myself to do stuff outside of my self-imposed confinement, but it feels painful, inadequate, disconforting and awkward. Without a sancta sanctorum, I’m no good. Sure, I can “take photos”, but they have nothing to do with the obsessions which fuel my drive.

I suppose that’s why I’m not, and I’ll never really be, a photographer. I’ve always wanted to be an alchemist and that’s what I’ll always keep being. That’s why I’m going underground, because some works must be performed in the outmost obscurity and secrecy, like “Rebis” was. These works grow from a very particular type of spiritual/intellectual humus, and the seed must be protected from the light until it is nourished and manages to start finding its way up from the soil.

The seed is already there and Winter’s going. Now it’s only up to Time to tell us what will sprout forth from it.

So, yeah… As I mentioned in the previous post, I’ve decided to put my all photographic activity on an indefinite hold. I have aborted the “Wunderkammer” series because I don’t think I’m achieving the results I wanted, but that’s only the symptom of a deeper problem. Or rather two:

One, I feel exhausted. Jaded. Dried up. I feel like I’ve said everything I wanted to say when I started doing collages, shooting and striving to communicate something, and that right now I’m only going through the motions. I’m not exploring anymore, but at the same time I don’t really know if there’s anything else I want to express. It’s as if all this was only the prelude, the learning stages for something else. During all this time I’ve been shooting I’ve moved towards something, creating a kind of a personal style in the way, something hinted at but still too inconsistent. I now look at all my work and, with few exceptions, see it as steps towards that, but with no actual achievements; as if I was defining the elements, but not creating the works themselves yet. Maybe it’s time to just let it steep, to assimilate everything I’ve done all these years and see what comes out of it after some time.

Two, money. I simply can’t afford it anymore, not for now. It’s bleeding me to death because doing what I do implies spending money in every stage, from buying film to printing a photo, from purchasing wallpaper and atrezzo to lights, paper or chemicals. I’ve managed to turn some weaknesses into strengths (I don’t need “proper” lighting for what I do, for example; neither do I require a space-age tripod; and so on), but right now I’m so broke I can’t even have prints of my own shots. The most I can do with my crap scanner is order a 20x30cm print at some digital lab, which to someone who got into this because he loved to do everything using his own hands, simply does not cut it. No money for prints leads to no possibility of exhibitions, which leads to no exposure, which leads to no money for prints. Vicious circle.

So that’s it. I’m hanging my hat for now. I don’t know what I’m going to do next, if I do something, or when I will start shooting again, or if I even will. If I do, I don’t know if I will show it. I don’t know anything and that’s what it’s all about: starting anew, with no intention and the least expectations possible… but not a tabula rasa, as I intend to carry everything I’ve learnt and that has made me what I am now with me.

Thanks to all who cared and helped, and hope to find you all somewhere along the way.

Cheers!

Debido a ciertos problemillas con Telefónica estaré sin conexión en casa durante unos 5 ó 6 días (*cruzar dedos*). Por lo tanto, quien quiera hacerme saber algo urgente o espere una pronta respuesta a algo, que use el teléfono. El resto, paciencia.

La próxima vez que alguien quiera hacerle un “comentario constructivo” a una de mis fotos, que se lea esto. Dos veces. Y que piense cómo me voy a estar descojonando:

http://theonlinephotographer.blogspot.com/2006/06/great-photographers-on-internet.html

Next time some wise-ass tries to give me a “constructive critique” I’m gonna pull this link and have the laugh of my life…

http://robertantonwilson.blogspot.com/2007/01/raw-essence.html

Robert Anton Wilson Defies Medical Experts and leaves his body @4:50 AM on binary date 01/11.
All Hail Eris!

On behalf of his children and those who cared for him, deepest love and gratitude for the tremendous support and lovingness bestowed upon us.

(that’s it from Bob’s bedside at his fnord by the sea)

RAW Memorial February 07
date to be announced

Hi there! Yes, I’m alive… And in fact, there has been quite a lot of new stuff going on recently; only thing is, I’ve been so lazy to update (and I’m still too lazy to translate this into Spanish, in fact) that I’ve forgotten a bunch of things. Blah. Who cares.

First, the “Unclassified” gallery at Chaospiral Studios has been updated with the photographs featured here during the last weeks… errrr, months: “Elvis never left the building”, “The killer awoke before dawn” and “Irreverence”. However, if you read this journal regularly or watch me at DeviantArt or Flickr you have already seen them, so big news for ya. There are also, of course, some new prints at Ye Olde Printe Shoppe.

In the World Domination section, we have a couple of new “Ciertos animales de costumbres discretas” reviews. From Gothic Paradise comes the first and only one yet we’ve had in English, while in Mentenebre, Spanish readers can enjoy the wise words of Pedro Ortega (ex-Maldoror magazine and cultural association), to whom by the way I wish much luck with this new project of his.

On Fun Stuff and Water Sports, the collaboration with Sathorys Elenorth for his project Der Blaue Reiter has come out wonderfully! In the end I contributed vocals and lyrics to one track and a poem for the inner sleeve, and I can say I’m truly proud of the result. His tracks were tremendously inspiring and managed to really shake me out of this blank slate-state I’m in when it comes to making music. In all, a great experience… which may or may not end here *wink*wink*

Last but not least, in the Grab-Hold-Of-Yer-Socks-Joel-Robinson Department, some Really Great News ™ loom ahead for September. Just a teaser: stick your nose to the screen and try to read the list of words underneath “Scar13″. See if there’s anything that seems familiar there:

And that’s all as far as the Public Eye is concerned. I’m doing fine, I finally got a decent dayjob, my baby just cares for me and there are plans for a Great Photoshoot ahead; but that will be in a couple of weeks, so don’t hold your breath. Cheers!

My girlfriend made me watch some Morning Musume clips and now I feel like a pervert.